It's been awhile since I've posted a new blog update.
The past month has been a whirlwind of new revelation, breakthrough, and growth. It's been a busy time. A time of learning, and a time of rejoicing. So, to simply summarize it all would be a large task. This has lead to a debate in my soul of what God would like me to share. This blog originally began by simply writing what God was doing to my heart. What God was redeeming me from. Somehow, along the way I feel the translation has become lost. Maybe, its that I have sought to write what "I" have felt was important, and not what God has willed. My aim is to be completely genuine and humble in all my postings. That my writing word spill forth from an overflow of revelation. This is my desire, and should be the chief nature behind all I share. I want nothing else but to be completely vulnerable and free to share every intimate detail of my personal dealings with God. This, as to inspire others to either come into a place of knowing the one who has brought me forth from the darkest recesses of my own worldly despair, or to encourage those along the same journey I am now traveling. Yet, I have reservations about my recent postings. I feel as though my posts have been taught from a level above and not beside. As Jesus came to walk beside man, I desire to do the same- walk side by side with my fellow brothers and sisters in unity and belief. I desire not to teach through my blog, but only to bring God into a fuller view to those reading. Furthermore, I must admit there is a selfish ambition within my postings as well. For I know that the more I share of my personal dealings, in suffering and joy, I come into a fuller place of restoration. That is, to grow more into the heavenly persona that the Lord beckons to bring me into. This I do not apologize for. So, there you have it. My feelings and my apology. May the soap box that rests beneath my feet be burned beneath the cross. May I write only from a position of surrender, on my knees.
A quick imprint of my most recent inquisitions with our friend Jesus:
I remember when Christianity was nothing but confusion. When a man dying on the cross became more than salvation. It was as if someone had torn a beautiful painting into tiny pieces. The love of God was a foreign destination and I was being offered a thousand ways to get there. A relationship with Jesus became a macro issue and not a micro issue. Religion had forced its way into my thoughts. Thoughts that said God wanted to talk to me through formulas and directives. How did it get this way? Did theological doctrine infiltrate the church so much that the central message of the gospel got lost? Calvinism or Arminianism? Post-tribulation or Pre-tribulation? Baptism, gifts, salvation, and so on..... Everyone has a different view or opinion regarding every single verse or passage in the bible. Have we become over theological? Honestly, I don't know. It's not that these truths are not important. They are, but only in certain contexts and I'm positive that God leads us to pursue these truths at a specified time in our walk with Him. However, what if we as believers got back to concentrating simply on the single most transformational, fundamental truth the Lord offers us. The truth that we were all drawn to Him by - To love. Love Him, and be loved by him. Simple. Love the Lord with all your heart. There is no room for debate within these words. There is no room for contextual discrepancy or confusion. Love. It's a game changer. It changes our response to God, and ultimately changes us. Imagine if the body of Christ concentrated solely on loving Him. Its implications are endless. It would be the rain drop that began the flood from above. It would spill over into our relationships with one another, and would bring more unity withing the body. Most important, its the essence of relationship and intimacy. Its the all consuming fire, the glue that binds, the lynch-pin, the cornerstone, our foundation - it is God. God is love, and all love stems from Him. He is the only source of authentic love. Therefore, it is impossible to demonstrate, share, display, or offer true love without the love of Jesus Christ dwelling within one's soul.
My sum point being; that without the full revelation of the need for love to be the central message in and before all else - we have nothing at all. I've realized this so clearly lately. I hear people praying to God; praying in a theological manner with articulateness, but their prayers are void due to a lackluster love. Their prayers are not authentic. People claim to want real relationships. Relationships founded in honesty and truth. However, what is honesty and truth without love. I see people participating in all sorts of ministries. Yet, ministry without love is only hypocrisy. I have even witnessed this from teachers. Teaching without love is simply dispassionate and lacking all authority. Others claim to have love, but their love is self-centered only. They talk about love, yet flee from the fruits of it. I have pursued many people in search of loving Christ-centered relationships. Yet I gain no response. When I first moved to Tacoma, I had the attention of many people. Men and women. It was moving. Really. However, as time passed so did the passion. The second I started a relationship (with the girl of my dreams, whom I love deeply. For it is her who I have seen the love of Christ flow forth like that of a never ending currant in all directions) they scattered. As schedules conflicted, so did their desire to work towards a loving relationship. No phone calls, not a word at church. Only what seemed to be bitterness... Fraudulent love. Our relationships in today's society, outside and often times even within the church, are lacking love. Not all of them of course. But I am on the course of finding those who possess the real thing. The love that overflows from their heart to all around them. The love that is unconditional like the love our Lord offers us. Is this too much to ask for? Or is it simply the way the Lord calls us to live. Maybe its not always easy to love the way we are called to, but its possible. Not only is it possible, but its worth it.
In conclusion, I say this, and I urge you to do the same: I will love all, and love need not be reciprocal, but as a life deceleration- my relationships will only be ones rooted in love. I say this not out of harshness, but only to protect my own heart. I say this for my own desire to surround myself with others who will push me forward in the direction of coming more fully into my heavenly persona, and a deeper relationship with the Lord. This above all else is my chief aspiration. My focus. I shoot with a sniper rifle and not a shotgun.
Notes:
(sniper rifle- narrowing my focus. Where as a shotgun round spreads out. This analogy is great because its been spoken to me prophetically by a few different people!)
