The Race

Bang! Goes the sound of the starter pistol. It rings out loudly, the echo fills the stadium, and for a quick moment silences the deafening crowd. They raise in anticipation as the runners leap forward to obtain position. The crowd is loud and boisterous. Many fans chant loudly the name of their favorite runner, while others simply clap forth encouragement. The runners fall into position, jostling throughout the pack, they settle into a rhythm. Their elbows clash against each other and legs brush legs. "padda pat, padda pat, padda pat" is the cadence as their cleats strike the track. This is a long race. The runners know this as they prepare their minds for the journey ahead. Beads of sweat begin to form on their bro. One runner breaks out of the pack. His heart is pounding as he rounds the turn. Behind him the runners fade back. The race continues. Now streams of sweat are falling from their faces, caught by the wind they fade into the red of the track. Their eyes are like that of a hawk, narrow and focused. The runner in front thinks he has it. He is fully fixed on the finish line. The runners behind him concentrate on each step. They feel the intricacies of each groove beneath their feet. They notice the gesture of each opponent, down to the twitch of each muscle. They run to a pulse of inhales and exhales. They are like a machine, drafting off one another...waiting, waiting..waiting for their moment. One lap turns to two, and two into three. The bell rings coldly. The sound of metal against metal marking the last lap.  As if the first day of spring had come after a long winter, the runners come more alive. The runner out front, now weary from trying to distance himself, fighting the wind alone, breathes deep and tries to conjure up all the strength he has remaining. This is in a sense the longest lap. He must hold off the pack of wolves strategically stalking their pray. They are hungry and can smell blood. All else around them fades now. The crowd is gone and they see in a blur of black and white. Arms at their side pumping them forward, legs increase their stride, and seconds seem like minutes as they plot their moves. The last turn is in sight. Its time. The pack breaks free like a glass exploding against a tile floor.  The runner who was in front all along quickly falls behind them all in defeat. He gave it all for nothing. Too much too soon. He became kindling engulfed in a wildfire. The prey in front of them has been devoured and dessert is the finish line. Outside, inside...outside, inside. Its down to two of them now... With a glance its over. Foot before foot he crosses the line in victory. The runner who started out front now looks forward in disappointment; defeated.


Disappointment and defeat... How often it is that I have felt these things in my own walk with Christ. Just like the runner who lost, I am a blaze of fire that burns out too quick. These past few months I find myself constantly reminded that my relationship with God is more of a marathon than a sprint. God has graciously gifted me with a zealousness. A zealousness that when not manifested correctly ends in burn-out. A zealousness that often times leaves me gazing upon the finish and not the now. This is dreadful. I often times causes me to miss the precious moments God has placed in front of me. My lack of maturity, and patience or long-suffering. The small, vital, important things that grow us into Christ-likeness. After all, its the journey that makes us, not the end.

As the runner up front had no one to pace him, to face the wind with him, he tired more easily and quickly. How important is it for us to surround ourselves with those who push us forward!? More importantly, those who are willing to face the storm with us. Just as Paul had Barnabas or Timothy, we need those who will not leave when times get rough. The friend who grabs your hand when you begin to fall. Misery is the accomplice of those who run this race without such "teammates". Just as God is the essence of relationship within the trinity, he calls us to live a life in relationship with others. I don't know where I would be without the pillars who have stood firm with me throughout the roughest seasons of my life. Actually, I do know where I would be, dead and possibly in hell.

God is faithful. Despite my own immaturity, He never ceases to catch me in grace like an avalanche. He is the gentle corrector. When I run too fast. or when I'm looking ahead and not down- He brings a strong north wind in force to slow me down. It's not always the most pleasant experience, but it is the most rewarding. It brings humbleness and maturity. It's in these times when we often times feel disappointment or defeat. However, we must remember, disappointment and defeat come from the enemy. We mustn't take the wide road that leads to destruction in these times; but exhale, pray, and live in joy - joy, that our God loves us enough to bring humility upon us. Remember, only He can see the past, present, and future. Therefore, live in joy, that he loves us enough to say "slow down beloved, you cant finish the race at this pace. And my only desire is to see you succeed". I am fortunate to have a friend and mentor here in Tacoma, Chris Hippe, who has probably said these same words to me twenty times within the past two months- "My desire is to see you succeed". When pride rises up and I need correction, its these words that humble me. When sealed with love, these words pierce my heart. Isn't success what we all crave? Success in all our endeavors, relationships, challenges, pursuits...

Our God who reigns in our lives, and who is our overall authority- says these words to us each daily. All He desires, for us, is to succeed... succeed in our pursuit of Him and the glory He has bestowed on, and before us. Let us all run this race to the triumphant finish- and in doing so, we will all hold hands and walk through that heavenly finish line together as the trumpet sounds!

Love, LOVE, you all...

Love- How basic.

It's been awhile since I've posted a new blog update.

The past month has been a whirlwind of new revelation, breakthrough, and growth. It's been a busy time. A time of learning, and a time of rejoicing. So, to simply summarize it all would be a large task. This has lead to a debate in my soul of what God would like me to share. This blog originally began by simply writing what God was doing to my heart. What God was redeeming me from. Somehow, along the way I feel the translation has become lost. Maybe, its that I have sought to write what "I" have felt was important, and not what God has willed. My aim is to be completely genuine and humble in all my postings. That my writing word spill forth from an overflow of revelation. This is my desire, and should be the chief nature behind all I share. I want nothing else but to be completely vulnerable and free to share every intimate detail of my personal dealings with God. This, as to inspire others to either come into a place of knowing the one who has brought me forth from the darkest recesses of my own worldly despair, or to encourage those along the same journey I am now traveling. Yet, I have reservations about my recent postings. I feel as though my posts have been taught from a level above and not beside. As Jesus came to walk beside man, I desire to do the same- walk side by side with my fellow brothers and sisters in unity and belief. I desire not to teach through my blog, but only to bring God into a fuller view to those reading. Furthermore, I must admit there is a selfish ambition within my postings as well. For I know that the more I share of my personal dealings, in suffering and joy, I come into a fuller place of restoration. That is, to grow more into the heavenly persona that the Lord beckons to bring me into. This I do not apologize for. So, there you have it. My feelings and my apology. May the soap box that rests beneath my feet be burned beneath the cross. May I write only from a position of surrender, on my knees.

A quick imprint of my most recent inquisitions with our friend Jesus:

I remember when Christianity was nothing but confusion. When a man dying on the cross became more than salvation. It was as if someone had torn a beautiful painting into tiny pieces. The love of God was a foreign destination and I was being offered a thousand ways to get there. A relationship with Jesus became a macro issue and not a micro issue. Religion had forced its way into my thoughts. Thoughts that said God wanted to talk to me through formulas and directives. How did it get this way? Did theological doctrine infiltrate the church so much that the central message of the gospel got lost? Calvinism or Arminianism? Post-tribulation or Pre-tribulation? Baptism, gifts, salvation, and so on..... Everyone has a different view or opinion regarding every single verse or passage in the bible. Have we become over theological? Honestly, I don't know. It's not that these truths are not important. They are, but only in certain contexts and I'm positive that God leads us to pursue these truths at a specified time in our walk with Him. However, what if we as believers got back to concentrating simply on the single most transformational, fundamental truth the Lord offers us. The truth that we were all drawn to Him by - To love. Love Him, and be loved by him. Simple. Love the Lord with all your heart. There is no room for debate within these words. There is no room for contextual discrepancy or confusion. Love. It's a game changer. It changes our response to God, and ultimately changes us. Imagine if the body of Christ concentrated solely on loving Him. Its implications are endless. It would be the rain drop that began the flood from above. It would spill over into our relationships with one another, and would bring more unity withing the body. Most important, its the essence of relationship and intimacy. Its the all consuming fire, the glue that binds, the lynch-pin, the cornerstone, our foundation - it is God. God is love, and all love stems from Him. He is the only source of authentic love. Therefore, it is impossible to demonstrate, share, display, or offer true love without the love of Jesus Christ dwelling within one's soul.

My sum point being; that without the full revelation of the need for love to be the central message in and before all else - we have nothing at all. I've realized this so clearly lately. I hear people praying to God; praying in a theological manner with articulateness, but their prayers are void due to a lackluster love. Their prayers are not authentic. People claim to want real relationships. Relationships founded in honesty and truth. However, what is honesty and truth without love. I see people participating in all sorts of ministries. Yet, ministry without love is only hypocrisy. I have even witnessed this from teachers. Teaching without love is simply dispassionate and lacking all authority. Others claim to have love, but their love is self-centered only. They talk about love, yet flee from the fruits of it. I have pursued many people in search of loving Christ-centered relationships. Yet I gain no response. When I first moved to Tacoma, I had the attention of many people. Men and women. It was moving. Really. However, as time passed so did the passion. The second I started a relationship (with the girl of my dreams, whom I love deeply. For it is her who I have seen the love of Christ flow forth like that of a never ending currant in all directions) they scattered. As schedules conflicted, so did their desire to work towards a loving relationship. No phone calls, not a word at church. Only what seemed to be bitterness... Fraudulent love. Our relationships in today's society, outside and often times even within the church, are lacking love. Not all of them of course. But I am on the course of finding those who possess the real thing. The love that overflows from their heart to all around them. The love that is unconditional like the love our Lord offers us. Is this too much to ask for? Or is it simply the way the Lord calls us to live. Maybe its not always easy to love the way we are called to, but its possible. Not only is it possible, but its worth it.

In conclusion, I say this, and I urge you to do the same: I will love all, and love need not be reciprocal, but as a life deceleration- my relationships will only be ones rooted in love. I say this not out of harshness, but only to protect my own heart. I say this for my own desire to surround myself with others who will push me forward in the direction of coming more fully into my heavenly persona, and a deeper relationship with the Lord. This above all else is my chief aspiration. My focus. I shoot with a sniper rifle and not a shotgun.

Notes:
(sniper rifle- narrowing my focus. Where as a shotgun round spreads out. This analogy is great because its been spoken to me prophetically by a few different people!)